I went to Las Vegas because Luke was going for work and I thought sure, I'll tag along! It will be a very nice hotel and can I hang out and work, and clear out my jetlag before heading out into the desert. I didn't expect to have all that much to say about Vegas, but my four days in the blinding lights have left me with if not thoughts, then at least feelings? Vegas is exactly what it seems, yet not at all.
Las Vegas feels like a place where all of life's pleasures were poured out and nobody thought to say "when". The Vegas Strip is not a real city - Wikipedia tells me it's classified as a "mega resort" and that framing does help. No one should have to live like this! But maybe I feel like this because I did Vegas all wrong. I didn't partake in any gambling, I didn’t smoke a cigarette indoors in the year of our lord 2024, I didn't see a show, I didn't marry at a drive-up chapel, and I didn't even drink any alcohol. I just walked around and looked at all the shiny, flashing things hijacking your attention - TL;DR Vegas is extremely overstimulating! I’m still shellshocked at the prices of everything, and how my skin was so dry it went white in the desert air. I never seemed to be able to drink enough water.
They named it Las Vegas - the meadows - because it was a lush oasis. But the joys of Vegas are a mirage, with an effect similar to how you feel after you eat an entire bag of Sourpatch Kids - you get your moment of flying high, before inevitably veering too close to the sun and crashing down hard.
Or maybe I'm just a snob about seeing Vegas’s fake Venice because I've been to real Venice in Italy - very possible! I got desensitised to the spectacle pretty fast though, as even though I've seen real Rome I kind of enjoyed Caesar's Palace, with its town square fountains and smoke shows under a fake indoor sky. They do know how to win you over in Vegas, and how to make you want what they're selling. In the 50s, when they were testing nuclear bombs so close to the city you could see the mushroom clouds, they made that into an attraction too - they sold tickets so people could watch the explosions from a viewing lounge, cocktail in hand. The drink was called the Atomic: vodka and brandy shaken up and mixed with champagne, so it would fizz up.
I took a taxi to the Neon Museum in North Las Vegas and the freeway rose up over the city and looped us round, as if to really show it off - the city looks exceptional from a slight distance. The sunset was pink into a pale blue sky, the lights were yellow and the hopes were high - it was just days before the election, and everywhere the posters were promoting the non-fascist candidate. Any other outcome seemed impossible.
The radio in the taxi was set to a turn-of-the-millennium rock station, and they played “What It's Like” by Everlast, “Self Esteem” by The Offspring, and “Doin' Time” by Sublime. I got nowhere with my podcast, the music was so good. I know a station like that is probably an oldies station at this point, but when I typed that into the Notes app on my phone, "oldies" somehow autocorrected to "prime". I don’t believe in much, but I'm pretty sure autocorrect brings us the truth we we need to hear.
The music in the hotel lift was really good too - every ride up and down the mirrored lift was like being in a Wes Anderson film. The hotel was as nice as I'd hoped, leaning into the opulence of old Venice for the benefit of patrons in ballcaps and cargo shorts. It's a highbrow/lowbrow cultural combination you don't really see in Europe so I was confused, but then Luke informed me of the phenomenon of American Nascar racing, where the prime tickets cost six figures. I wasn’t sure I quite got the connection, but then the election results came in and now I know something about America I didn’t know before.
I still don't understand gambling though - why would you do it, knowing the house always wins? I thought about this a lot as I walked past so many people sitting slouched at slot machines (because you always have to walk past the gambling - they designed it that way). A lot of them had a look on their faces that' I’d call "scroll face" - you may have seen it if you've accidentally opened the front-facing camera on yourself during a binge. It's the face of someone who's not having a particularly good time, but who's slumped into an unnatural activity that is activating something primal - it’s hard to stop and the soul is very confused.
I enjoyed Vegas in many ways - it's an experience! - but I don't expect to be back. As I was leaving I took a taxi back to the airport, as they have a flat rate to and from the Strip now. This was introduced after Uber managed to break what was described as the Vegas "taxi cartel", and I figured a flat rate is a flat rate. But then I went to pay and the card machine had a choice of how much to tip, with the options starting at 25% and going all the way up to 40%. The house always wins.
Writings
Lighthunting - The Simple Things
I wrote three versions of this story - first a grumpy "I don't like winter" draft, then I got the edits back and wrote a second draft where I tried hard to find the upside, and then, because the magazine decided to hold the story until autumn, a final version where balance had finally been found. Go for a walk, light a candle. Make sure you have a good coat. We can do it! Out now in the October issue of The Simple Things.
And for my fellow Seasonal Affective Disorder battlers, here’s my report for Vox about how to actually really cure Seasonal Affective Disorder from a scientific perspective. It was published at the tail end of last winter but NOW is the time you want to get on that - preventing is a lot easier than curing. We can do it!
Readings
For this month's article recommendations from around the internet, head over to Reading List, Big Sky edition.