When I was in Copenhagen recently, my notebook spent a night in a dumpling bar. It was around midnight when I realised couldn't find it, turning the room upside down before concluding it must have slipped out of my bag. Knowing there was nothing I could do until morning, I reluctantly went to sleep. Copenhagen is a very lovely city - it's the perfect blend of Scandinavian cool and European charm, where everyone leaves their stuff on the dock while they swim in the harbour. I knew there was a decent chance that Danish neighbourliness would come through for me.
When I went to the dumpling bar the next morning they had my notebook under the bar - it all worked out. It was another lesson to look back at where you were sitting before you walk off, as my mother's husband suggested to me after I left my best coat in a restaurant, and got it back only because he went out of his way to retrieve it. (This was during a multi-day gathering with my family, and while it was unbelievably kind, it was also a legit opportunity to spend four undisturbed hours playing loud music in the car.) While my brain works better now than during that pandemic-era event, this notebook episode finally cemented the habit to look back before walking away - I've not caught myself forgetting anything yet, but I'm sure I will.
Copenhagen was a lot warmer than the forecast had predicted, so I ended up wearing the one summer dress I'd brought every day - a perk of solo travel is that no one knows. I wore the dress to explore Refshaleøen, I wore it to the museum house of designer Finn Juhl (Danish modernism is eternal), and I used it to cover my wallet as I slipped into the sea at Bellevue beach, on a perfect midsummer evening when the sky and water were the same colour. I wore the dress as I sat in Vinhanen and read a book with a glass of wine, intermittently distracted by two blonde women on a date, where one spoke Danish and the other Norwegian. These are two languages which are mutually comprehensive, at least on paper - I’ve realised I’d need to live in Denmark for at least a couple of months before I could actually follow a conversation.
I enjoy travelling by myself. On the one hand it's a rare opportunity to make completely selfish choices, but it's also a chance to discover who you are when there's no one around to influence you. When I left Copenhagen they kept delaying the flight in 15 minute increments, culminating in an hour spent sitting inside the plane out on the tarmac - the worst kind of delay. And I was in a mid seat! But incredibly, I was so engrossed in the book playing in my headphones that I barely noticed. That's not usually how that kind of experience goes for me, but as I've entered the life stage I like to call "enjoying nature", I'm increasingly finding that it's simply very nice to sit and read, or walk and look - to just do your own thing in an undisturbed moment.
I used to say, about dating, that people change all the time, but never in the time and manner you want them to. I very much maintain this is true, but it turns out that it also applies to the self. Change is hard even when you want it, and you have to come at it from several different angles - you never know what will be the thing that works. That moment on the plane made me think that it's nice to feel, even if just for a moment, that I might have obtained a little bit of self-possession. My flight can be delayed and my notebook can spend the night on the town, but the phrase "you choose how to respond" isn't just something they say because they want you to be quiet - it’s also the key to have a genuinely less s**t experience. I first encountered this concept in a book I read while at uni, but here I am, 20 years later, learning the same thing again. Maybe it will stick this time, and if not, another opportunity will come around again soon.
Things I've been writing lately.
My dad and I never meet in the same place twice - The Independent
On the occasion of UK/US Father's Day in June, I wrote a story for The Independent about travelling with my father, and how it's making me realise how similar we are. As ever, I'm bowled over by what exceptional good fortune that it is, having had some decent people to raise you, as a kid as well as now. I mean, seriously.
Your insider guide to London - Going
I wrote four comprehensive London travel guides for travel experts Going this spring, and I think they're pretty good! I chose everything on these lists myself, so I can vouch for this as independent and unsponsored advice to London.
Where To Stay in London - an area guide
Day trips from London - by car or train
Things to do in London - with local favourites
A London itinerary - five perfect days
Things I've been reading lately.
For this month's article recommendations from around the internet, head over to Reading List, Midsummer edition.
Ahhhh! This is lovely